What to Do When Your Pet Dies in the UK

If you've just lost your pet, I'm so sorry. Whether it was sudden or something you saw coming for weeks, the house feels wrong without them. You might be reading this with the lead still hanging by the door, or a half-full food bowl you can't quite bring yourself to move. There's no right way to feel right now, and there's no rush to do anything in the first hour or two except breathe.

When you're ready, here are the practical things to think about. Take them slowly. Most of this does not have to happen today.

In the first day or two

If your pet died at home, you don't need to do anything immediately. It's okay to sit with them for a while. When you're ready, you'll need to decide on aftercare (cremation or burial), and you have a little time to think, especially if you can keep them somewhere cool.

If your pet was put to sleep at the vet, the practice will usually talk you through the options there and then, often while you're still in the room. It's a lot to take in at the worst possible moment. You're allowed to ask them to write the options down, or to ring back tomorrow once you've had time to think.

A few gentle practicalities:

• If other pets at home were close to them, let them sniff and understand in their own way. Animals do seem to grieve, and some settle better having been allowed to say goodbye.
• Keep your pet somewhere cool if there'll be a day or two before cremation or burial.
• There's no legal requirement to register a pet's death, unlike with a person. One less thing.

Cremation or burial

This is the main decision, and there isn't a wrong answer. It comes down to what feels right and what's practical for you.

Cremation is the most common choice in the UK. There are two types. A communal cremation means your pet is cremated with others and the ashes aren't returned; it's the more affordable option. An individual cremation means you get your pet's own ashes back, usually in a simple casket or an urn you choose. Your vet can arrange either, or you can go directly to a local pet crematorium, and some will even collect from home.

Home burial is allowed in most cases if you own your garden and the animal was a pet. Dig deep enough that the grave is secure from other animals, keep well clear of any water pipes or streams, and have a word with your vet first if your pet was put to sleep, because the medicine used is a controlled substance and shouldn't enter the soil carelessly. If you rent, you'll need your landlord's permission.

Pet cemeteries exist too, if you'd like a place to visit that isn't your own garden. They're less common and vary a lot in cost.

Whatever you choose, ask about keeping a small memento: a clipping of fur, a paw print in clay (many crematoria and some vets offer this), or their collar and tag. People who take one are almost always glad they did.

Telling children

If there are children in the house, be honest and keep it simple. Plain words like "died" and "body stopped working" are kinder in the long run than "put to sleep" or "gone away," which can frighten a child about sleep or holidays. Let them be sad, let them ask the same question fifteen times, and let them help with a goodbye if they want to, drawing a picture, choosing a spot in the garden, or saying a few words. Children often grieve in short bursts, fine one minute and crying the next. That's normal.

Practical loose ends

When you have the energy, not before:

• If your pet was microchipped, update or close the record with the database so you don't get reminders. The same goes for pet insurance and any monthly food or medication subscriptions.
• Cancel the next grooming or vet appointment if one's booked. Most receptionists handle these calls with real kindness; you don't have to explain much.
• Don't rush to clear away their things. Move the bowl and bed when you're ready, which might be tomorrow or might be a month from now.

Looking after yourself

The grief is real, and you don't have to justify it to anyone. A pet is there for the ordinary moments nobody else sees, the early mornings, the bad days, the same walk a thousand times. Of course it hurts.

Be wary of well-meaning people who say "it was only a cat" or ask when you'll get another. You're allowed to take your time. If the sadness feels too heavy to carry, the Blue Cross Pet Bereavement Support Service and Cats Protection's Paws to Listen both offer free, confidential lines staffed by people who understand exactly this kind of loss.

Some people find it helps to do something with the love that's got nowhere to go: plant something in the garden, frame a favourite photo, or make a small place of remembrance you can return to. If that appeals, you can create an online memorial for them, a quiet page for their photos, their story, and the things you don't want to forget. There's no pressure to do it now. It'll be there when you're ready.

For more ideas once the first wave has passed, have a look at our guide to pet memorial ideas.

Whatever you do next, you gave them a good life. That was the whole point of them having one.